good morning beautiful friends!!! it seems like it's been forever since I've been on here and it has been. I have to apologize to myself and to you all for my absence. I need to apologize to God too, because I had promised Him that as long as He was with me in this blog, I would keep on doing my blog. He has kept up His end of the deal, but I haven't.
sometimes life gets in the way and this year has been one of those times. nothing big, but just a lot of little things and then when I think I might find the time to write a blog post, something else comes along to steal a little bit more of my time and joy.
so this morning, I decided, after my walk and talking with the Lord that I would see what I could do. so this blog post is gonna different. I'm not concerned about capatilizing words or punctuation and not really even concerned with spelling, so just overlook all that and read. I don't think God cares about things like that, and I'm not going to either. what He cares is "a broken vessel, willing to be used".
so, while we was walking this morning, I was praying and talking to the Lord. I pray daily, and most days I never end our conversation. it's just always an open ended prayer. because I'm constantly in prayer. confessing sin, praising Him for His mercies daily, thanking Him for His goodness and for all He has done for me and my husband. just thanking Him for life itself. asking Him for His protection in all that we do. you get the picture.
the last few years have been trying at best, for everyone. most peoople have let their guards down and let the enemy in. I'll have to admit, I have been one of those people. I have become a hard hearted person again. is this easy to admit? no, it isn't. it's difficult, it breaks my heart. while we was walking, I just asked God to make me "a broken vessel, willing to be used" again. as a child of God, I want to be used. I want to always be willing to be used by God. I want to show compassion and mercy, just as He has shown compassion and mercy to me. I don't want to be a pushover or someone to be abused by others, but I do want to show compassion and mercy. I want to always stand up for what is right. I don't want to ever defend someone blatantly living in sin, but I do still want to be able to show compassion and mercy without compromising my beliefs, according to the Word of God. as I weep and shed tears, I haven't decided if it's tears of joy or tears of sadness.
I have lost myself in the mix of all the change that has taken place over the last few years. and I'm asking, pleading with God to make me that broken vessel, willing to be used by Him again. I want the joy back, I want the sparkle that I know I've had. I want to always be ready to defend the Gospel and always ready to speak a word of blessing over someone who needs it. I want to even be able to speak that word of blessing over myself. I haven't been able to do that for a while.
I really don't know how I'm gonna be able to do this withoout getting back to my blog. I have been saying for the last 2 or 3 years that I'm gonna get back to it and it I don't. I don't "feel" like it does me or anyone else any good. and that's one of the main things that I want to get away from, is my "feelings". they lie!!!! you know what I mean if you belong to Jesus. our "feelings" can quickly get us in trouble. so the Lord wants us to operate in "what we know", not how we "feel".
one thing I "know" is that when I do my blog, I am in communication with my Father. the Holy Spirit is with me helping me. Jesus said that I can do all things thru Him, He strengthens me. so, these are things that I know. I know these things!!!!!! but the enemy wants me to forget the very things that I have based my life on for all these years. it's been a struggle here lately. the enemy keeps me upset about something all the time. things that are beyond my control and I fall for his tactics.
so I have been praying and decided I would share my struggle with the very ones who have helped me in the past. and I know that you will help me in the future. just knowing that someone pops in and reads something I have written makes a difference. just know that I do appreciate that.
I don't know if my struggle will get any better or not. I just know that if I don't try to pull myself out of it with the help of the Lord, I'll never be better than I am right now. I've been reading the bible thru each year for a few years now. this year is no different. I'm still reading and hopefully will make it thru before the end of the year and then start over. that takes time, but it's time well spent. I am reading a different translation each year. that has been a great way to read the bible. I stay in a translation that is translated from the original greek, hebrew, aramaic. I don't care for the translations of other translations, because they get weak and watered down and messy. thats some of the problems that we have today with people claiming to be christians. they are basing their lives on weak, watered down and messy behavior. and that is where some of my issues as of late is coming from.
but anyway, this is where I am and I'm trying to get out of the muck and mire of the world and get back on track with where I know that God desires me to be. I know that He can help me. I sure can't do it without Him. y'all pray for me and I'll continue to pray for y'all.
if you don't know Jesus, let me ask you "why not?" don't base your knowledge of Jesus on me or what anyone tells you. base your knowledge of Jesus on what His word says about Him. but do let me tell you that He wants to be your Lord and Savior. it is the best gift that you'll ever receive in this life time. it is a gift that has eternal blessings. those blessings last forever when we are finally with Him. God made a way for us to be in right relationship with Him thru the shed blood of His Son, Jesus Christ. He wants to be your Lord and Savior. we just have to admit that we are sinful and that we confess those sins and that we want Jesus to be our Lord and Savior from this moment on and accept that He IS our Lord and Savior. if you know that you have done this, then we are in the family God, together!!!! if you haven't accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior yet, why not? there is no time like right now. blessings on you all, dear ones!!!
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this morning when came back from our walk, our sunflower was open. yay!!!! I didn't plant the seed that this sunflower came from, a bird did!!!!! I am so tickled to see it too. I look at that as a blessing and gift from God this year. I hope I can save some of the seeds from it and have more along the fence next year. the fence is the neighbors and it's a tad bit messy looking, but I can see it being beautiful with a bunch of sunflowers. so I hope this can become a reality. I do have a couple of pictures of this beauty.
the top one was made on Sunday and it has a big old beautiful bumble bee in it and there was also a tiny sweat bee in it. I am so tickled to actually have a sunflower.
this picture was made this morning, Monday morning and it has small butterfly on. he wouldn't open his wings so it just looks like a bug sitting on it. hahaha notice how the center of the sunflower has opened up more than it was on Sunday. I guess that's what the bees and insects are doing, pollinating each seed now and it will soon be fully pollinated. I'll have to keep watching it as the days progress. it's really been fun finding it and watching it grow. just a little blessing from God that has turned into a big blessing.
well, that's about all I have today. just pray for me as I pray for ya'll. if you read or seen anything here that is worthwhile, share it with someone that may need to see it. we never know what others are dealing with and how we can be a blessing to others. I pray for your day to be a blessed day and look ways that you God has blessed you today. ask God to make you "a broken vessel, willing to be used", and I promise you He will use you in a might way!!! blessings on you today. hugs and love, patty
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